Josh Billings on Pigs.
Az the white rose wakens into buty, so doz the white pig cum tew gladden us. His earz are like the lilac leaf, played upon by the young zephurz at eventide, hiz silkaness is the wool of buty, and hiz figger is the outline of lovleness. Hiz food is white nectar, drawn from the full mountain of affecshun. He waxes fatter and more slik evra day, and hangs from the buzzum of hiz mother like an image of alabaster. He laffeth at forms, and curleth hiz tale closur, as hiz feast goeth on, and he riseth with gladness and wandreth with his kindred, beside the still waters. Hiz brothers and sisters are az like him as flakes ov snow, and all the day long among the klover and beneath the white thorn, he maketh his joy and leadeth a life akaliean. – Hiz words are low muzik and his language the unrotored freshness of natur. His pastime is the history of innersence, and his lezzure is elegance. He walketh where grase leadeth, and gambles to the dalliance of dewy fragrance. He gathereth straw in his mouth, and hasteth awa on arrants of gladness. – He listeth to the reproof of his parent; his ackshuns are the laws of politeness, and his logic iz the power of instinct. His datime is pease, and his even is gentil furgitfulness. As he taketh on years, he loveth kool places, and delveth in liquids, and stirrith the arth to a fatness, and painteth hisself in dark cullurs, a refuge from flize, and the torments of life. He forgetteth his parent, and becumeth his own master, and larneth the mystery of food, and groweth hugely. Men gaze at his porkyness, and kount his valu by pounds, and lay in wate for him, and sackrifise him, and give his flesh salt for its safety.
A few Statistics of the Reaper Trade.
But few persons not actually engaged in the enterprise have any definite idea of the immense proportions the business of manufacturing reapers and mowers is assuming in this country. We have reliable information that there were made of 1762, 33,000 of these machines; for that of 1863 something over 40,000, and for the business of the present present year upwards of 70,000 will be made. Out of the 70,000 between 14,000 and 15,000 will be manufactured in the State of Illinois.
Seventy thousand machines at an average of $130 each (combined machines selling the ensuing season at $150 to $160 or even higher and mowers from $105 to $140), and we have the enormous amount of $9,100,000 paid by the agriculturists of the North in a single season for a single class of implements. Probably the repairs on machines, old and new, will swell the amount to nearly $11,000,000. Can any country in the world equal or even approach these figures? – Prairie Farmer.
Five Hundred Thousand More.
The telegraph on Sunday conveyed the following order to the public, it having been issued on that day:
It is ordered that a draft of five hundred thousand men, to serve for three years, or during the war, be made on the 10th day of March next, for the military service of the United States – crediting and deducting there-from as many as may have been enlisted or drafted into the service prior to the 1st day of March, and not heretofore credited.
We are not told what is the urgency of this call, whether is it based on an apprehended intervention by France, or a large reinforcement of the rebel armies, or whether Imboden’s raid into Pennsylvania has again alarmed the “Washington people.” The order is just sufficiently explicit to give rise to a difference of opinion about the number actually called. It may be in addition to three hundred thousand already being raised, or it may be only to increase the number of that call to five hundred thousand. But it is “no sort of consequence” which of these is the true meaning. The real question is to get the men. – We think they will be found without much trouble. True, the country, has been drained of a large portion of its fighting population, but this was done before the war assumed its present policy, and there are now in reserve the “swarms” promised by Gov. Andrews which were to “fill the highways and byways Massachusetts with volunteers” rushing to fight in behalf of negro freedom. We think now is a good time for Massachusetts to swarm – better late then never. There are also in reserve the nine hundred thousand promised by Greeley, a respectable instalment of which should now be forth-coming. And last, but not least, there are the armies which Abraham would be able to “stamp out of the earth” on the issuance of a “proclamation of freedom.” These immense forces are almost all in reserve, and we suggest that now is the time for them to come forth. Abraham believed these promises, he performed what was asked of him, and surely the trio of tempters will not fail in the fulfillment. So we expect this five hundred thousand will be in the field within the month, and we congratulate the country upon the rebellion being food for history within the next three months. “Rally at the call, boys!”
→ St. John, in his apocalyptic vision, tells us what Satan will first do after his release from the thousand years confinement in prison: His first work is “to deceive the nations” and “gather them together to battle.” Are there not Christians in this land who will pause, in this day of stupendous deception and most cruel and unnecessary battle, and ask themselves if they have not unwittingly been emissaries of Satan in deceiving the people to their hurt?
→ A “Convention” in Arkansas, how elected is hard to tell, is engaged in making a new constitution for that State, to conform to modern views. It has abolished slavery by but one dissenting vote. What is the use of the farce of a “Convention,” when Old Abe can declare null and void the constitution and laws of Arkansas or any other state, at his own will and pleasure?
→ It is said that nobody now appears at the so called Union meetings in New Orleans, except the northern disunion abolitionists, who have been exported to that city by Mr. Lincoln. These wretches assemble, to the number of a few hundred, and call themselves the State of Louisiana – elect members to Congress, and perform other similar frauds and abominations, as they are instructed from Washington.
Prolonging the War.
It has been very generally suspected and not unfrequently charged, that the abolition radicals who dictate the policy and control the action of the administration, have kept constantly in view the prolongation of the war as a means of accomplishing their cherished object of negro emancipation, which many of them do not hesitate to admit they make paramount to everything else. Had the war been successfully prosecuted to an early close, with the re-establishment of constitutional authority in the insurgent States, there would have been no time for the fruition of the negro schemes of radicals. When the charge of desiring to prolong the war was preferred against the radicals some time ago in the U. S. Senate, Mr. Hale, of New Hampshire, whose three thousand dollar transaction had not yet come light, with that show of indignation he knows so well how to effect, repelled the charge. And in denying it he tool occasion to characterize any man who desires the prolongation of the war one hour beyond its necessary prosecution for the vindication of the laws of the government, as a wretch whom no honest man should take by the hand. The language thus uttered was well calculated to pass as sincere, but we now have evidence that such prominent advisers of the administration as Senator Sumner, of Massachusetts, has confessed his purpose of preventing a close of the war until negro slavery shall be abolished. The facts are stated by a cotemporary from whom we copy:
From the Hartford Times.
The Rev. Dr. Massie, the British “Emancipation” agent, having recently returned to England, is now giving an account of his reception in various parts of the United States. He will be remembered by the Hartford people from the fact of the meeting held while he was here, in one of the speech makers. At a late meeting of the Glasgow Union and Emancipation Society, Dr. M. referred to his interview with Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Sumner, in which the Massachusetts Senator laid down the real doctrine of the Abolitionists who now govern the country, viz, that their great object is to prevent the war from being ended before negro slavery shall have been abolished.
The following extract from the Society’s proceeding at the meeting in Glasgow, Scotland, is given:
“Dr. Massie described the great change that had passed in public opinion as to slavery, referring particularly to the city of Washington, where, after an address, the minister of the place said: “Had you delivered that address a year ago, you and all the meeting would have been mobbed, and the church gutted.” He believed that every disaster had been to the advantage of the anti slavery cause. Mr. Chas. Sumner had said to him, that he feared more their successes than their defeats. Their successes were likely to make the people ready to say, “Let us patch it up now.” Their defeats were a prolongation of the war, and gave the people reason to put the question to themselves, Why is God fighting against us? Why is he delaying the day of peace? It is because of slavery. – Therefore, let us abolish slavery.”
In view of such facts as these, Mr. Hale’s indignant denial does not amount to much. – The infamous utterances ascribed to Senator Sumner in the above correspond with the doctrine promulgated by the New York Anti-Slavery Standard some time since, when it “thanked God for defeat,” and prayed that “reverses” might continue. In the light of the above declaration of Sumner these infamies become perfectly intelligible. And we can now more clearly understand the motive of Mr. Lincoln’s one-tenth plan. It is all of a piece with this scheme to prolong the war in the interest of negro emancipation. This to the fanatical radicals is of more importance than the lives of our people and the happiness of the country.