December 1, 1860

Macomb Eagle

Hoorah for Lincoln!

These are Lincoln times.  Secession, suspension, bank-bursting, money shaving, business stopping, poor men begging, women-starving, and babies crying.  Hoorah for Lincoln!  What if the Union is on the eve of dissolution, States withdrawing, minute-men arming, and civil war threatening!  What if credit is ruined, and panic prostrating every branch of business, all owing to the election of a sectional President by a sectional party, a President and a party pledged to an “Irrepressible Conflict” with the southern half of the Union!  It is all a joke.  There is nothing in it.  There is no secession, no trouble.  It is only a nine day’s bubble.  The South doesn’t mean it.  All sham.  Nobody scared.  Bring out the wide awakes!  Let us go on with the jubilee.  What if the Banks do suspend – manufactories cease, merchants fail, farmers find no sale for their stock, and what little money they have laid up rapidly depreciating.  “Nune est bibendum.” [“Now is the time for drinking.”]  HOORAH FOR LINCOLN!

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The Chicago Times says that about forty negroes of that city have organized a military company under name of “Freedom Guards.”  One of the objects of their organization is to rescue fugitives [slaves] from the hands of Government  officers whenever any such shall be captured.  A year on a Georgia rice plantation would be beneficial to these “Freedom Guards.”

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VOLUME FIFTH

This number of the Eagle  begins the fifth volume.  We have not much to say as to the future.  Those who have known it for the past year or more can give a good guess what it will be for the year to come.  We have an abiding faith in the correctness and righteousness of Democratic principles; and that, although defeated now, the sober second thought of the people will induce them to return to the policy of their first love.  The year to come will be fraught with important events: the inauguration of a republican administration, the probable secession of a portion of the States from the Union, and the possible breaking up of this confederacy into half a dozen republics – are subjects that must engross every attention for the next few months.  The newspaper is a necessity at all times; but it is indispensable to every well-regulated family now.  We shall endeavor to make the Eagle “a map of busy life – its fluctuations and its vast concerns;” and invite all who want the news to send us their dollars.  The prosperity of this paper was never better than now – its business never in a more flourishing condition.  To Democrats we look for a continuance of that material assistance which has placed us under so many obligations to them as a party and as individuals.  We are confident that the Democracy in this county, as well as in this State and nation, have a bright future before them; that the wintry clouds which now obscure the light and chill the air will soon pass away, and the sun of triumph gladden the hearts of the true friends of the Constitution and the Union as our Fathers made them.

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Hunting Excursion – A party of valiant hunters left this town Thursday morning for the purpose of hunting deer, turkeys, chicks, coons, rabbits, woodchucks, and other varmints, over on ye Spoon river country.  Their armament consisted of

3 rifles;
2 mules;
1 shot-gun;
1 dorg [dog?];
1 axe; and
1 pair of skates.
We had a peep into their provender box, and found it filled with an admirable assortment of creature comforts.  A partial list of contents would read about thus:
2 large jugs;
1 pound of crackers;
2 small jugs;
2 papers of tobacco;
4 large bottles (filled);
3 links Bologna;
2 small bottles (half full);
1 quarter section of cheese;
1 bottle (filled with a suspicious looking liquid);
1 “deck of Highlanders [playing cards];”
2 bottles (supposed to contain whisky);
1 lb. Limburg cheese (old);
4 red pipes;
1 small bottle extract of corn (for the feet);
1 doz. Cobs;
and some whisky loose.
From the above inventory the readers will believe that something “will get shot.”

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Result of the Revolution- – -Five New Republics.

Since the right of secession is claimed by the South and conceded by the dominant party in the North, it is proper to look at results.  If South Carolina can secede for any pretended cause, herself of course sole judge in the case, then Maine can secede.  So can Ohio, Michigan, Minnesota or Oregon.  If one State can secede so can another, and as a logical sequence each State can coalesce with other States and form republics of one, two, or twenty out of the original fragments of this Union.  Now if this is to be the prevailing doctrine, we would propose the following list of confederacies:

Republic No. 1

A Southern Republic with all the slave States save Delaware and Missouri, the latter in fact and feeling being a Western State, and will soon be free as Ohio, with New Mexico and the Indian Territory.  The staple productions of this Republic would be cotton, tobacco, sugar, and niggers.

Republic No. 2

A western Republic including the seven northwestern States, Missouri, Kansas, and Nebraska.  The productions of this republic would be wheat, corn, beef, pork, potatoes, and popular sovereignty.

Republic No. 3

The Central Republic, including New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware. – The latter named State has elected a Linconite to Congress and has not niggers enough to run a respectable hotel.  The productions of the Central Republic would be a great variety of cereals, panic makers, and politicians.

Republic No. 4

The Puritan Republic, including the six New England States.  Productions.  Prayers, Priests, and pumpkin pies.

Republic No. 5

The Pacific Republic, including California, Oregon and Washington Territory, with the eventual addition of Sonora, and Utah.  Staples – Gold, Grizzy Bears, and Babies.

Here are Republics enough to suit seceders, and when any of the States are dissatisfied with their new Unions all they will have to do will be to raise the flag of disunion and march to a more congenial section a la Mexicana.

Hoorah for the American multiplication tables and the new American Republics!

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